This fiercely competitive world we live in constantly reinforces the need to be “perfect” – have an ideal body and a brilliant mind, get the best grades, be in a perfect relationship, have the perfect job, and even have a perfectly curated social media feed. This drive to be perfect in mind, body and career is catalysed by social media which not only glamorizes productivity but also reinforces the development of these unrealistic standards and gives us more reason to fear mistakes and not accept our flaws. 

Increasingly we are developing these irrational ideals and unrealistic expectations and internalising the contemporary myth that everything, including our own selves, should be perfect. 

However, what if this illusion of perfection was broken and we were told that our flaws and our occasional mistakes make us more likeable than individuals who often present themselves as flawless or perfect? 

THE DISCOVERY OF THE PRATFALL EFFECT

In 1966, Harvard University Psychologist, Elliot Aronson, along with his colleagues, Joanne Floyd and Ben Willerman performed an experiment which demonstrated that “the attractiveness of a superior person is enhanced if he commits a clumsy blunder.” For the experiment, the researchers recorded an actor answering a few trivia quiz questions. The participants were 48 male undergraduate students divided in four groups. Each group was instructed to listen to one of the four scenarios:

• A superior person answering 92 % of the questions correctly

• An average person answering 30% of the questions correctly

• A superior person answering 92% of the questions correctly and spilling coffee over himself (committing a small blunder or pratfall)

• An average person answering 30% of the questions correctly and spilling coffee over himself (committing a small blunder or pratfall)

The concept of “superior” and “average” was reinforced by having these contestants (actors) reveal personal information about themselves. 

After the tape was played to the sample of students, they were asked about their impressions of the contestant they had heard. The results were in line with Aronson’s hypothesis – the students found the superior committing a blunder to be more likeable. In the words of Aronson, “the pratfall made the contestant more appealing as it increases his approachability and makes him seem less austere, more human.” However, it was also inferred from the experiment that the likeability of the average person decreased upon committing the same blunder or pratfall. 

Other factors which have an influence on Pratfall Effect are the level of self-esteem of the observer, their gender and the seriousness of the mistake committed.

THE PRATFALL EFFECT

“Pratfall” is an informal English term which means “an embarrassing mistake or failure”. From the above-mentioned experiment, it can be understood that Pratfall Effect refers to the tendency for attractiveness to increase after an individual makes a small blunder or mistake when the individual was already seen as competent or attractive. In a nutshell, Pratfall Effect simply means that a person’s likability will increase if they are not seen as flawless or perfect in a domain but they are perceived as attractive in some way and/or are seen as being competent in that domain. 

An image of perfection might be intimidating to others and usually, it is not suitable for developing healthy interpersonal bonds. It increases insecurities about personal flaws and imperfections. However, no human is perfect and flaws, mistakes and imperfections make us all human. Thus a blunder or pratfall makes individuals more relatable, approachable and therefore more likeable. 

PRATFALL EFFECT IN EVERYDAY LIFE

Several examples of the Pratfall Effect can be cited from our daily lives. Starting from our interpersonal relations to the advertisements which appeal to us, from our chances of getting a job offer to the kind of movies we enjoy, the Pratfall Effect has a role to play in all these spheres. 

One embarrassing event and we feel it is the end of our romantic story. However, Pratfall Effect states that it, in fact, might be just the beginning of our story! The occasional embarrassing mistakes committed by us and our humble imperfections increase our humanness and we tend to be perceived as attractive and endearing.

Psychologist Joanne Silvester conducted an experiment and discovered those interview candidates who admitted past mistakes at job interviews were more appealing. This perhaps could be the reason why Raju Rastogi from the movie Three Idiots was offered the job interview despite him mentioning his past failures. 

The Pratfall Effect or occasionally referred to as the “Blemishing Effect” has been heavily used in the marketing and advertising industry. In a book titled The Science of Story Selling, author Gideon F. For-mukwai states reasons why this effect matters in advertising and marketing a brand. The humanising effect of the flaw makes the brand more relatable to the consumers and it reflects humility, sincerity and the grounded nature of the brand and the entrepreneur. 

Leading consumer psychologist, Adam Ferrier, conducted research through ZenithOptimedia in which he asked a large number of the sample which of the two cookies, pictured below, they preferred. The only difference between the cookies is in the shape: on has a perfect round shape with smooth edges, while the other has a rough edge.

 Interestingly, it was observed that 68% of the sample preferred the cookie with the rough edge. 

Striving for perfection is not bad, but expecting ourselves to be perfect at all times and in all spheres is not right. Humans are beautifully flawed beings. We are not meant to be perfect. We are not even close to being perfect, but whatever we are, that is enough. We don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. We should allow ourselves to make mistakes and let people get inspiration from how we tackle those mistakes. After all, the Pratfall Effect only implies that “it is more than okay to make mistakes once in a while”.

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“The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.” ~Arthur Conan Doyle

JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

The innocent eyes of a child do not reflect hatred, aggression or violence all of a sudden and a child does not become a juvenile delinquent overnight. Several biological, cultural, economic, social, political and psychological factors interplay and cause juvenile delinquency. 

“We are what we see. We are products of our surroundings.” ~ Amber Valletta

Multiple theories have been developed and several researches have been conducted to explain the causes of juvenile delinquency. Generally, the theories are grouped as biological or physiological, psychological and sociological. While genetic composition, personality dynamics and neuropsychological processing play a major causal role in juvenile delinquency, the contribution of the social environment of the child and other sociological factors cannot be ignored or neglected. Growing up in a non-supportive environment and a world full of crime, bullying, violent video games and TV shows, prejudices and hate crimes and domestic violence – all negatively impact the mindset and attitude of children.

UNDERSTANDING THE MAJOR SOCIOLOGICAL CAUSES

FAMILY

Family is one of the most basic and fundamental units of society. Family environments, relationships among family members, parental control and value education imparted within homes play a decisive role in shaping a child’s attitude, behaviour and personality. The commonly identified factors pertaining to unfavourable family environment are – 

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.”  ~ Michael J. Fox

1. Lack of parental care, control and/or affection
2. Quarrels and conflicts among partners
3. Excessive strict discipline at home or the complete lack of it. 
4. Highly ambitious or critical parents 
5. Abusive parents or caregivers
6. Depravity of parents or parent’s continued long absence from home
7. Consumption of alcohol or drugs by parents or other family members
8. Disorganised family or broken homes – separation, divorce or death of any one of the parents. 
9. Presence of a parent with a psychological disorder
10. Unemployment or low income leading to poverty due to which the basic needs of the child is not satisfied. 

Lees and Newson (1954) interestingly found that child’s birth order in the family and sibling position could be an attributing factor in delinquency. Their study revealed that middle children are more prone to engaging in criminal activities because they are likely to get less care and attention from their parents in comparison to their older or younger siblings.  

Thus, all of the above mentioned factors may directly or indirectly lead a child to fall in bad company and consequently indulge in offensive activities. 

SCHOOLS AND OTHER INSTITUTIONS 

In addition to family, schools, religious institutions and community play an important part in the process of socialisation of a child. School is where children spend a maximum of their time and have closest contacts and interactions with most children. Schools impart academic knowledge and provide moral and value education to children. The modern school systems put a strong emphasis on a good performance and thus create an environment of competition. However, children who are intellectually, economically, emotionally or socially deprived may face difficulty in meeting their expectations and are likely to resort to unfair means or delinquent acts. 

PEERS

Family and parents have the responsibility of teaching socially acceptable values to children. When these values are not imparted, a child’s bond with parents and school is broken, causing deterioration in their academic performance. As a consequence, children may start associating with deviant peer groups in which they feel accepted. These peer groups then pressurise or encourage children or adolescents to begin or continue engaging in deviant actions. Peer groups or “gangs” usually play the role of conveying techniques of delinquency, providing training in delinquency, safeguarding the members of the gang engaged in deviant acts and maintaining a continuity of delinquent actions. 

MEDIA AND CINEMA

In today’s technology-driven world, there is no limit to the material that can be accessed with the click of a button. From a very young age, children are exposed to cartoons, TV series, movies and video games. While watching action-packed blockbusters casting our favourite actors or superheroes can be a thrilling and exciting experience for us, several researchers have found that television, comic books, movies, radio and video games portraying violence and sexual acts or highlighting crimes are significant factors contributing to juvenile delinquency. Children are easily attracted by these kinds of contents and often times they want to imitate in their real-life what they watched on screen. Thus, media influence and the subsequent information explosion may be one of the growing causes of delinquency in children and adolescents.

Besides these, there are several other social factors like poor living conditions in neighbourhood and the frequency in which crimes happen, poor recreation facilities, love adventures, the bad company of friends, excessive rigidity in society and poor socio-economic conditions of the society.

HOW CAN ONE PREVENT JUVENILE DELINQUENCY? 

Understanding juvenile delinquency and tackling it is complex. To prevent deviant behaviours from appearing or developing, parents, teachers, caregivers and other authority figures must use effective discipline, monitoring and different problem-solving techniques (Crosswhite and Kerpelman 2008).  The first step of preventing deviance is recognising deviant behaviours and keeping track of when they occur. Punishments given for maintaining effective discipline must neither be overly harsh nor extremely negligible because that might have a counter effect on the child and chances of deviancy may therefore increase. Monitoring means having an awareness of the child’s whereabouts, who their peers are and what they do in their leisure time. Problem-solving skills are essential in a child’s development of communication. A lack of problem-solving skills and communication can cause children to shrug off responsibilities, behave in a defensive manner and make them more aggressive. Parents should therefore consciously practice positive parenting by constantly supporting and reinforcing their child’s pro-social behaviours and strengthening the parent-child bond.

Research shows that children and adolescents with positive attitudes and feelings toward their school are less likely to be deviant. Thus, schools should encourage the development of a healthy and positive environment in which the students feel valued, loved and accepted.

Children are like clay in potter’s hands. They quickly learn and absorb everything around them. Every child deserves to be loved, taken care of and moulded in the best way possible because, “children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” ~ Harold S Hulbert. 

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Inside the cramped bank vault, a strange, positive, compassionate bond developed between the captors and the captives. On one occasion, when hostage Kristin Enmark began to shiver, Olsson draped a wool jacket over her shoulders and even soothed her when she had a bad dream. He also gave her a bullet as a keepsake. When 21-year old bank cashier, Elisabeth Oldgren, complained of feeling claustrophobic inside the confined bank vault, he tied her to a leash and according to the captive herself, he “was very kind enough” to allow her to walk outside the vault. When hostage Birgitta Lundblad couldn’t contact her family members over the phone, Olsson consoled her by telling her, “try again; don’t give up.” These acts of kindness inculcated feelings of sympathy in the hostages and in the words of Sven Safstrom, the lone male hostage, the captives saw him “as an emergency God.”

A more infamous incident than this “Bank Drama,” a term coined by a 1794 New York Times article, is that of Patty Hearst or Patricia Hearst, a famous media heiress who was seen helping her captors rob a bank after a few months of being kidnapped by revolutionary militants in 1974. 

As an explanation, ‘Stockholm Syndrome,’ a phrase coined by criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, was born. 

CAUSES OF STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

Intrigued by this rare phenomenon, Psychiatrist Dr Frank Ochberg, went on to study and define the syndrome for Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and Scotland Yard in the 1970s. According to him, the criteria for Stockholm Syndrome included the following – 

1. A sudden experience of something terrifying and feeling certain that they are going to die.
2. Experiencing a type of ‘infantilisation’ – where they are unable to speak or eat or go to the washroom without permission. 

When the hostages receive small acts of kindness from their captors, they experience a “primitive gratitude for the gift of life,” and that inculcates a “powerful, primitive, positive feeling” towards the captor. 

In hostage negotiation, this syndrome is defined as “the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathise with his or her captor.” 

A forensic psychologist in Rochester, Minnesota, Steven Norton, explained that while Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological concept seen as a survival strategy or a coping mechanism, it is not a formal diagnosis. It is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) or the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-10). According to Norton, the increased fear and trauma may induce sympathetic feelings and that can make the hostages emotionally dependent on the captors, but these symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome could overlap with the symptoms of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and learned helplessness. 

However, a 1999 FBI law enforcement bulletin states that victims with Stockholm syndrome will exhibit two key characteristics:

1. Positive feelings toward their captors and
2. Negative feelings of distrust and anger towards law enforcement officials. 

This might lead them into feeling that police actions might threaten their safety. 

In tune with these explanations, Dr. Dee L. R. Graham, a psychologist and professor at the University of Cincinnati, and her colleagues, described that this rare syndrome is more likely to occur in these following conditions – 

1. “Victims perceiving a threat to their survival at the hands of their captors.
2. Victims perceiving small acts of kindnesses coming from their captors, such as not getting hurt or receiving water and food.
3. Isolation of victims from perspectives other than those of their captors.
4. Inability of the victims to escape from their situation.”

The display of positive feelings can also be from the captors’ end. A classic evidence of this is Olsson’s remarks – “It was the hostages’ fault. They did everything I told them to do. Why didn’t any of them attack me? They made it hard to kill. They made us go on living together day after day, like goats, in that filth. There was nothing to do but get to know each other.” This even rarer phenomenon is known as “Lima Syndrome.” 

This notion that development of positive feelings is bidirectional in cases of captor- captive situation has encouraged hostage and crisis negotiators to develop similar supportive behavioural skills. 

Although Stockholm Syndrome is a rare phenomenon when it comes to hostage and captor incidents, the underlying principles of how it develops and works is witnessed in different, yet more common circumstances and situations. 

HELD HOSTAGE BY THE ONE YOU LOVE

Battered individuals failing to press charges against their violent abusers, victims denying the presence of violence in their relationships, or men, women or children willingly wanting to stay back with their abusers because of the love, strong emotional connect and deep sympathy, are all examples of symptoms associated with Stockholm Syndrome. Another example is corporate Stockholm Syndrome which takes place in organisations where a supervisor or boss has immense control over the employees and these employees believe that they will eventually benefit if they are compliant. 

This terror-bonding or trauma bonding typically happens in women and children. According to psychologist Jennifer Wild, a consultant clinical psychologist at the Oxford University, women who develop a sense of dependency on their partners, might feel less of anger and more of empathy towards their abusive partners, and they might choose to continue staying with their partners despite being victims of Intimate Partner Violence or Domestic Violence. 

Similarly, child abuse is another example. When care givers or parents physically and/or emotionally abuse their children, children may deny it or lie about it or choose not to speak up about it because of the protective feelings and the love they have towards their parents or caregivers. 

Whether Stockholm syndrome is a myth or it actually exists in reality is still an ongoing debate. However, for the individuals who experience symptoms similar to that of Stockholm Syndrome, it is very hard for them to accept the reality and come out of the abusive relationship. Offering full support and providing a safe space where they feel accepted and loved is something which friends and family members can do to help them. 

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KIM NOBLE : AN ARTIST DIVIDED

“A lot of people are very frightened of us until they meet us”

~ Kim Noble

Kim Noble is a 59-year-old mother who lives in south London with her teenage daughter Aimee, two dogs and more than 20 separate personalities. 

Dawn is stuck in 1997, searching for her daughter Sky, who she believes was taken away.

Bonny had the strength to fight for her child through the courts.

Ken is a depressed gay man of 21.

Abi has loneliness in her life. 

Ria Pratt is 12 or 13, and is thought to have been abused.

Judy is a 15-year-old anorexic and bulimic, and is often a bit cheeky, but is very good at painting.

Patricia, in her 50’s, is strict and sensible and is the narrator of an intriguing new book called “All of Me.” She is the most consistent personality of Kim.

While all these personalities appear independent, each is a part of Kim Noble, whose main personality is split into several parts, each having an amnesic barrier between them. Her other alter egos include Salome the devout Catholic, a little boy who speaks only Latin, an elective mute, a sensible Hayley, and a handful of children “frozen” in time. While many of the alters are unaware of it, some of the alters know that Kim has Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D—the preferred term for Split Personality Disorder or what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder.

From the age of 14, Kim spent twenty years in and out of psychiatric hospitals because of being diagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to depression, hysterical amnesia, anorexia and bulimia. Finally, she met Dr Valerie Sinason and Dr Rob Hale at the Tavistock and Portman Clinics and in 1995 she began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. 

D.I.D is a rare reaction to severe trauma in which the brain splits into multiple personalities as a defence mechanism to cope with chronic trauma.  Kim is believed to have suffered severe trauma from sexual abuse as a young child that caused her mind to split into these multiple personalities and develop D.I.D as a “creative way to cope with unbearable pain”. 

In 2004, after spending a short time with an art therapist, Kim and 12 of her alter personalities developed an interest in painting despite having no formal art training. These 12 artists have their own distinctive artistic styles, colours and themes-

Bonny’s pictures often feature robotic dancing figures or “frieze people”, Suzy repeatedly paints a kneeling mother, Anon paints at night and uses texture in paintings, Abi’s paintings are usually people from a behind view, Patricia paints the desert landscapes which according to her are a “bit boring” and Judy’s canvasses are large, conceptual pieces which are usually portraits – some with their eyes open, others shut. Ria on the other hand paints very differently. Using bold bright colours, her childlike but disturbing pieces often reveal deeply traumatic events involving child abuse.

Art has definitely had a therapeutic effect on Kim and instead of coming out as words, the expression comes out in art. These personalities, combined, have had over 60 exhibitions, nationally and internationally.

Generally, Patricia’s personality switches around four or five times a day – a switch that can last five minutes, a few hours or several days. Stress or lack of sleep can increase the number of switches, as can painting – a sign, Patricia believes, that a personality just wants to come out and paint to express themselves.

Despite the fact that she has to live with several alter personalities –– Kim Noble is fortunate enough to be living a relatively normal life. To communicate with “Patricia,” “Judy”, “Salome”, “Ken” and the others, Kim’s therapist sends emails to each of them. All of the personalities have separate email addresses and passwords, and Patricia leaves notes for them. “Patricia” says her situation isn’t such where a single personality represents a specific mood (such as “anger” or “fear”). Instead, each of her 20 personalities has a full range of emotions and living with Dissociative Identity Disorder means “sharing a household—there are different clothes, closets and toothbrushes for each personality.”

In the past few years, Kim Noble was featured in national newspapers such as The Telegraph, The Guardian, The Independent and several others. She even appeared at the Oprah Show, This Morning Show, Anderson Cooper Show and BBC Radio1 with Victoria Derbyshire.

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER

Dissociative disorders involve problems with memory, emotion, identity, perception, behaviour and sense of self. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder is caused by “overwhelming experiences, traumatic events, and/or abuse occurring in childhood.” 

The DSM-5 gives the following diagnostic criteria for Dissociative Identity Disorder: 

1. “Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states, which may be described in some cultures as an experience of possession. The disruption of marked discontinuity in sense of self and sense of agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behaviour, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and/or sensory-motor functioning. These signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual. 
2. Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting. 
3. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 
4. The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice. Note: In children, the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play. 
5. The symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behaviour during alcohol intoxication) or another medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures).” 

Treatment

Treatment typically involves psychotherapy through which people gain control over the symptoms and the dissociative process. Therapy aims at helping individuals integrate the different elements of identity. 

Therapy for this trauma based disorder may be difficult and intense as it requires remembering and coping with traumatic experiences of the past. Cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behavioural therapy are two commonly used types of therapy. Like in the case of Kim Noble, art can have a therapeutic effect on individuals with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Hypnosis has also been found to be helpful in some cases. There are no medications which specifically threat the symptoms of D.I.D, but doctors may prescribe medicines such as anti-psychotic drugs or anti-depressants which may be helpful in the treatment of those specific symptoms. 

Thus, with appropriate treatment, most of the people suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder are successful in coping with the major symptoms of this rare mental illness and improving their ability to function and live a productive and fulfilling life. 

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“Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.”

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion

Although emotions have a biological base, the meanings of emotions and the appropriateness of emotional expression are products of socialisation. One critically important moderator of what children learn about emotions and the appropriateness of emotional displays is gender (Parkins R, 2012). Gender differences in experiencing and expressing emotions is largely a result of the gender-stereotypic socialisation which is usually instilled in the members of culture from early childhood (Fischer A, et.al. 2004). Thus, emotions which are fundamentally neutral and are experienced by all, come to be perceived as gender-specific stereotypes.  Consequently, these stereotypes provide a basis for society to determine what is and is not socially acceptable for males and females in displaying emotions.

IDENTIFYING THE STEREOTYPES

Phrases like “boys don’t cry”, “emotional women”, “man up” and the like are all examples of stereotypes associated with gender-based appropriateness of emotional expression. We are all wired into believing that women are more emotional than men, or at least are more emotionally expressive. This occurrence of women being more emotionally expressive than men is majorly a result of the early shaping of our views on emotional expressivity. 

According to Denham et al. (2007), children learn about emotions through three primary modes of direct and indirect socialization: 

1. Witnessing others’ feelings and emotions, 
2. Having their emotional displays responded to and 
3. The ways they are taught about their feelings and emotions. 

Indirect socialisation happens when children observe other family members display specific emotions. Accordingly, they gather information and internalise the level of appropriateness for specific emotions. Direct socialisation takes place through discussions on emotions parents have with their children or via parental reactions to emotions. Emotional expressions which are reinforced with warm, sensitive responses from parents and caregivers are instilled and repeated whereas emotional expressions which are accompanied by non-supportive responses are suppressed or avoided.

As a result, several studies have found that men learn to express powerful, externalizing emotions that display one’s assertiveness and power, such as anger, contempt and pride and suppress the “non-masculine” expression of sadness (Siegel & Alloy, 1990) whereas women express the powerless, internalising emotions such as happiness, embarrassment, surprise, sadness, fear, shame, and guilt which serve to imply vulnerability and maintain harmony in social relations with a minimum of overt hostility.

Even the highly applauded Pixar movie “Inside Out” which beautifully taught us the importance of balancing the complex emotions, portrayed certain stereotypes. Anger was shown as a man with a deep, gravelly voice, Disgust was guised as a “spoiled bratty girl”, sending strong messages about emotions in female adolescence and Sadness and Joy were personified as two distinct types of women, capturing the idea that sensitive empathy and unswerving optimism are synonymous with the female emotional condition. 

These gender stereotypes associated with expression of emotions is not only restricted to face to face communication, but also social media interactions. In a study by Róisín Parkins (2012), posts, tweets and comments were analysed to examine the emotional expressivity of men and women in the realm of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. It was interesting to observe that despite the relative anonymity that comes with online communication, the gender stereotypes associated with expression of emotions is still prevalent and women are the more emotionally expressive gender.

However, a study by Fabes and Martin (1991) has shown that women are perceived to express emotions more than men but that there is little difference in the perception of men and women’s emotional experience. This means that one has to consciously understand the difference between “expressing emotions” and “experiencing emotions.” This distinction is meaningful because it endorses the notion that gender stereotypes shape emotional expression. 

UNDERSTANDING THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES

Times and situations have changed and we now live in a world where gender roles have become overlapping and the very concept of “gender” has become more fluid. In these times inability to foster emotional diversity in children may have long-term problematic consequences. 

Both men and women are subjected to norms of appropriate expression of emotions in the workplace, but women experience greater scrutiny compared to men when it comes to emotional expressions at work. While men who get angry at work are perceived as decisive and strong, women who loses their cool and act in anger are regarded unprofessional and incompetent. At the same time, when women express the stereotypical “feminine” emotions, they are judged as lacking emotional control, which again undermines their competence. Such perceptions leave women in a bind – being passive prevents them from being heard and expressing anger raises questions on their professional legitimacy. This leads to women diverting or suppressing their anger. While the former may hamper their relationships with friends, family and loved ones, the latter can make them more resentful and cause anxiety or depression. 

Men, however, suffer beneath the gravity of conventional masculinity and experience greater depressive symptoms than women. Boys grow up in a world inhabited by a narrower range of emotions and the cultural pressures to act masculine may further prevent them from expressing their emotions in healthy ways. Men are taught to refrain from expressing any emotional vulnerability and are expected to show only a limited range of emotions. This process of limiting the range of men’s allowable emotional expression helps set the path towards anger and aggression. Denying emotional vulnerability makes them prone to engaging in health risk behaviours and substance abuse. While women may experience depression more than men, many men may restrict emotions and avoid the feelings associated with depression by embracing anger and resorting to physical violence. Inability to express emotions extends to the home as well where men find it difficult to share their own vulnerable emotions with partners and are less open to these experiences in their partners. Thus, emotion suppression can have detrimental effects on their physical, psychological and relational health and men may be at greater risk for stress-related cardiovascular problems in the long run.

CONCLUSION

Letting the guards down and expressing emotional vulnerability is easier said than done, but bottling up or avoiding emotions has never had a positive outcome. Thus, acknowledging and embracing the emotions, expressing them in appropriate ways and creating a safe space for others to open too are necessary for the psychological health of the individual and for the society at large.  

“Life without emotions would be as calm as death, like a world without weather. Accept feelings as they are; pleasant or painful, they are natural and don’t need fixing. Let them rise and pass without allowing changeable emotions to run your life.”

— Dan Millman

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Since then, the world news has been dominated by the rapid spread and far-reaching impacts of COVID-19. However, the pandemic is much more than a global health crisis. The novel Coronavirus has the potential to create crippling and devastating social, economic and political effects on each of the country it touches and leave deep and long-enduring scars. 

MULTIFACETED CHALLENGES IMPOSED BY COVID-19

Creating a monumental challenge on the public healthcare system, the pandemic brought turmoil on the global market, livelihood, trade, economies, different institutions and the like and integrating all, affecting human life. 

The lockdowns confined millions of citizens to their houses shut down, businesses left large groups of migrant workers jobless and homeless and ceased almost all economic activities. Consequently, the recent days witnessed the sharpest economic pullback and a huge spike in unemployment all across the globe. According to the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the global economy is expected to shrink by over 3 per cent in 2020 – the steepest slowdown since the Great Depression of the 1930s. This global economic downturn, coupled with the financial crisis, is bound to have a negative impact on the behavioural and mental health of the society. 

Quite a few start-ups came to a temporary or permanent halt and the organisations that could operate had to identify and overcome several challenges for ensuring business continuity. One such challenge was quickly adapting to the work culture change and instigating remote working practices that reflected this new environment in order to maintain business continuity. With this shift in working cultures, people not only lost a routine and structured daily schedule, but also social interactions with the wide variety of supportive, friendly, casual relationships at work and in public that make for a rich social texture. Moreover, middle-aged working individuals experienced greater levels of stress due to overlapping family and work responsibilities. These factors compounded with the responsibilities they have towards their children and/or ageing parents as caregivers might have triggered feelings of despair, frustration and loneliness. 

With the shutting down of schools and playgrounds, lack of outdoor activity, aberrant eating and sleeping habits, children have also been exposed to great psychological sufferings because of COVID-19. Although children have been largely spared from the direct health effects of COVID-19, the crisis is having a profound effect on their mental well-being, their social development, their safety, their privacy, their economic security, and most importantly, their education. This disruption of lifestyle has given rise to feelings of distress, monotony, impatience, annoyance and various other neuropsychological manifestations. There is an even greater threat of domestic violence and child abuse now. The children from marginalized communities are particularly susceptible to the infection and may suffer from extended ill-consequences of this pandemic, such as child labour, child trafficking, child marriage, sexual exploitation and death.

Campus closings and the overall response to the Coronavirus fundamentally brought a shift in how college students think about their sense of belonging. In addition to depression and loneliness, college students were also likely to face increased rates of anxiety, fuelled by the uncertainties surrounding the virus. 

The elderly, however, face special challenges because of this pandemic and constitute an especially vulnerable group. Firstly, their age is a predisposing factor to mental and physical health issues and the presence of comorbid conditions make them even more susceptible to infections and accompanying mental distress. The elderly are always advised for maintaining social interactions for their mental and emotional wellbeing, but this has seen a drastic disruption because of the current situational demands of social distancing. Nowadays, not visiting ageing relatives, with the intention of not exposing them to the virus, has become a symbol of love. Thus, the lack of social interactions can precipitate and worsen anxiety, loneliness, feelings of being a burden on their children and various other psychological issues. Thirdly, the lockdowns have aggravated the issues of access to basic medications and healthcare facilities which the elderly face owing to their physical health problems. If they are unable to obtain a sustained supply of medication, they are bound to experience deterioration in their mental state. The constant streaming of news related to the pandemic may become a source of their stress and anxiety because most news outlets highlight the increased mortality rates of COVID-19 in older people. Thus, the regular exposure to such disturbing information can trigger episodes of anxiety, depressive moods and eating and sleeping disturbances. This, in turn, can have a detrimental effect on their quality of life.

Besides these age-related problems, the collateral damage of COVID-19 has been suffered by relationships. These times have witnessed a tsunami of divorces, the dating scene is on its knees and thousands of couples have consulted therapists after months of staying indoors together during the lockdown. All of this has triggered feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety and depression. 

Thus, with the spread of COVID-19, the world has been witnessing and experiencing the parallel spread of anxiety, worry, stress and frustration because of the instability and ambiguity of the current situation. Having little idea about what the post COVID scenario looks like and experiencing a lack of control has been a major stressor in recent times. Indeed, in a crisis like this, our mental state seems to deteriorate and it becomes very essential for each one of us to learn ways of staying mentally healthy and be able to cope with the surrounding negativity and stress. 

RESILIENCE: THE KEY TO OVERCOME HARDSHIPS

Remaining calm at a time when we are all in high alert due to COVID-19 can be a challenging task and people exhibit varied responses to the outbreak.  However, during these challenging times, building psychological resilience is vital for the ability to cope effectively with hardship, uncertainty, and change. The ability to withstand setbacks, adapt positively, and bounce back from adversity is described as “resilience” (Luthar and Cicchetti, 2001). Very simply explained, mental resilience means managing our minds in a way that increases our ability to face the situation and prevent psychological distress from affecting our daily functioning. Resilience is the skill which starts with noticing our own thoughts, then unhooking them from the non-constructive ones, and rebalancing quickly. This is a skill that can be built internally, nurtured and trained. 

In research by Marin Seligman, the former president of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the father of the positive psychology movement, seven habits of the happiest people had been identified – 

1. Relationships— Consistent with all the other happiness research, relationships are absolutely vital to a sense of joy and meaning in life. This is why regularly investing in, and carefully working on close relationships is very important, especially during such uncertain times. Connecting with close ones over a phone call or social media can help reduce stress and depressive moods. 

The present climate of fear can also create stigmas and judgments about who is to be avoided or who is to be kept at a distance. Thus, forming and maintaining compassionate, meaningful bonds and relationships has become even more important. 

2. Kindness— Seligman found that people, who volunteer or regularly care for others, are happier and less depressed than other people. Not surprisingly, research shows that giving and receiving kindness can protect one from disease, and may even help the person live longer. 

In the COVID times, where people are translating social distancing into physical distancing and mistreating people affected by the virus, little acts of kindness can not only help others but the society overall. 

3. Physical Exercise— Exercise and a good diet are primary factors for lifting depression. Keeping the body healthy by moving every day is a basic building block of happiness and can also act as a form of healthy engagement during these times. 

4. Purpose, meaning, and spirituality— Studies demonstrate a close link between spiritual practices and happiness. Spiritual thinking can also help people cultivate hope, compassion, and self-reflection. Spiritual engagement can also keep one’s mind off the surrounding negativity and help the person stay calm and relaxed. 

5. Identify and use greatest strengths— People who identify what they are great at and try to do more of it every day—are much happier. Developing strengths and concentrating on positive qualities can also boost mental wellbeing. 

6. Gratitude, mindfulness and hope— Happy people focus on what they have, not on what they don’t have and live in the present as much as possible. Hope has been linked to a better immune system and less chronic disease. How we explain bad events to ourselves also plays a large role in how we move forward. These attributes are deeply linked to happiness, and they are skills that can be learnt, practised and deliberately cultivated. 

7. Flow States— A fascinating work of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “flow” activities are those in which people become so engrossed and absorbed in that space and time seem to not exist. Research shows that people are happier when they regularly engage in “flow” activities. These are activities that people simply enjoy doing voluntarily. They are moderately challenging, but not so challenging that they produce stress. 

With the gift of time, we have received due to COVID-19, we can rediscover our long-lost talents and spend productive time behind cultivating them.

This calm and present state is crucial. It helps keep the mind from wandering and getting hooked, and it prevents us from being susceptible to stress and worry. Moreover, taking some time off from work and family commitments and engaging in self-care and introspection can help us think clearly. More importantly, the continued practice of calming our minds builds a muscle of resilience. When we practice bringing ourselves back to the present moment, we deepen our capacity to cope and weather all sorts of crises, whether global or personal. 

Resonating well with Seligman’s research, a recent study by Killgore, W. D. S., Taylor, E. C., Cloonan, S. A., and Dailey, N. S. (2020) on Psychological resilience during the COVID-19 lockdown proved that social support from family, friends, and a special caring loved one were each independently associated with greater resilience and during periods of shelter-in-place orders, it is important to foster these relationships and to find creative ways to stay emotionally connected with those we care about. Their research also highlighted the importance of daily activities. Exposure to the outdoors and sunlight for a few minutes each day and getting a bit more exercise were both also associated with greater resilience. Finally, spiritual health was another facet of well-being to consider, as more frequent prayer was independently associated with greater resilience. It was thus found that those who actively engaged in these vital activities and nurtured their relationships tended to be the most resilient to the challenges to mental health imposed by the COVID-19 pandemic. 

In addition to these, World Health Organization (WHO) also published a document on “mental health and psychosocial considerations during the COVID-19 outbreak” which addressed age-specific concerns and highlighted similar points related to building resilience. The World Health Organization (WHO) and Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also highlighted the significance of enhancing community resilience to curb the COVID-19 outbreak.

Thus, individuals building internal reliance can definitely contribute to the building of community resilience and create a better situation for all, because the overall resilience of a community rests on the extent to which community members practice healthy lifestyles and are aware of the community’s health-related functional needs. 

CONCLUSION

Looking through the lens of positivity and optimism, one can see a silver lining on the dark COVID cloud. Despite all the obvious hardships, most of the people are learning to adapt well to these challenging circumstances and deal with all the ordeals. We’ve started engaging in healthy habits, connected with long lost friends, rediscovered old talents and understood the value of time. We’ve become more aware of our emotional needs, we’re understanding people better and we’re bonding with each other like never before. It’s true that the current times are uncertain and we have a very hazy idea about what the future looks like, but in spite of all this, humans are known to be resilient beings and this innate human capacity of resilience has always helped us overcome the hard times. After all, when life gives us lemons, we’ve got to make good lemonade and enjoy the drink! 

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