I happened to be on a call the other day with a very close friend of mine who’s expecting a baby soon and while having a great session of gossip she popped up the question of what I was going to send as a gift for her newborn. I immediately replied with a tone of obviousness that I must know the gender to pick a gift. Every time a couple is blessed with a beautiful child, picking a gift never seems so difficult. Why you ask? Well, a baby girl would be loaded with everything pink and a baby boy would get the same in blue. Similarly guessing a baby’s gender just by their clothes has never been a difficult task. The baby wouldn’t really care if it’s pink or blue because we are the ones who push them to feel attached to a specific colour before they can even develop the ability to choose for themselves. When I think of it, gender really has no role to play. However, it’s such an ingrained concept that even though we realise a colour doesn’t justify its forceful association with a particular gender, knowingly or unknowingly we all keep up with the tradition of choosing for the baby hence promoting sexism.
Origin and Trend Setting of Colour Sexism
It must be noted that gender-colour stereotype and assigning a colour to gender isn’t an ancient concept but a twentieth-century trait. After World War II, blue was used extensively for men’s uniforms. Therefore, blue was identified as more of a masculine colour. Since 1940, pink was promoted as a woman’s colour. “Think Pink” was the marketing slogan to convince women to embrace their femininity. It grew massively in the 1970s and by the 1980s it was a full-fledged concept where markets were captured by brands selling gender-specific merchandise to parents indoctrinating a stark contrast in their minds. Also, the introduction of clinical tests that were capable of revealing the gender of an unborn baby, in different countries, played a major role as parents had the opportunity to preplan shopping for their children and stock up on everything that would speak loud and clear for the gender. Scrolling up and down social media apps I came across a trending concept of ‘Gender Reveal’ which was first started by Jenna Karnuvidis in the year 2008. She baked a cake full of pink icing to celebrate a baby girl they were expecting. After 10 years of this viral phenomenon, she realized how the trend picked up and someone’s potential and talent should not be compartmentalized depending solely on what’s between their legs.
Sexism in Toys: Not a Child’s Play
With sexism being the primary focus while growing up, most children face a huge dilemma about peculiar universally accepted, gender-specific presents. Girls get a lot of Barbie dolls, kitchen sets, jewellery sets, anything and everything that’s ‘pinkified’. Boys are assumed to fancy GI Joes, Hotwheels, toy guns, for god’s sake the society loves gifting their sons a lot of weapons! It’s not just the gift that needs to be focused on but the dull mindset behind it. Gifting a kitchen set is the most suitable way to glorify what the society actually thinks of women, trying best to nurture their homely instincts because clearly, society would rather assign specific gender roles than let women dream of being bold, independent, and sore high with a mind of their own. I’ve seen parents often discouraging their boys who dare to show even the slightest of an inclination towards so-called ‘girly’ toys or makeup. This discrimination affects their thinking and behavioural pattern tremendously. The trauma of not being able to open up to your own birth givers about personal preferences, toys or choice of colours is claustrophobic in itself.
Second Home
We call schools our second homes and now I know why! There’s an uncanny significance between the two. A divide between girls and boys surprisingly exist in schools and educational institutions even today. We choose to ignore red flags of clear cut segregation that children commonly face on a day to day basis. For instance, boys who don’t like being a certain way and aren’t necessarily rough, rugged, crass and ‘manly’ if I must use the word are commonly subjected to a lot of bullying and are vulnerable to great deals of trauma that follows. This not only creates a problem for the child but also breaks their self-esteem. Yes, schools are very thoughtful and progressive about holding menstrual awareness workshops. Sadly these are strictly girl-specific and therefore boys are not just unaware of how a woman’s body functions but also made negligent about menstruation in general. Which is why the role of men in menstruation is still vague and sanitary pads continue to be sold wrapped in newspapers or black plastics. Girls are also taught to not speak about menstruation openly or involve the opposite gender because it doesn’t speak well of how ‘cultured’ they are. Sensitizing children about natural, biological phenomenon like these is a necessity and we need to acknowledge it as a society that’s concerned for the future generation.
‘Gender’ or ‘Sex’
Biology also teaches us the difference between a boy and a girl but what we’re often not taught is the concept of behaviour. Sexism forces one to behave in a set way. When we get behaviour into the picture let me tell you ‘Gender’ and ‘Sex’ are two very different terms. However, we end up using them interchangeably. During the second year of under-graduation, I took up Educational Psychology as an elective. While exploring certain topics I happened to come across a study which explained how humans are born as male or female biologically but socially, culturally and personally they might associate themselves as more masculine or feminine by nature. This masculinity or femininity is controlled by the society and anything that doesn’t seem to fit into their social construct is termed as abnormal and looked down upon. When a boy or a man places himself on the pink side of the spectrum we associate his gender or sexual identity with that of a woman and assume they’re homosexual. A lot of homophobics repel men who wear pink. Pink, thus in this scenario is seen as a badge of shame because it’s socially unacceptable for men to be inclined towards a colour like Pink because it’s assumed to be a colour for those who are soft, weak and feminine and men don’t gain social acceptance if they fall under such categories.
Fun fact, during 1930-1940, Nazi concentration camp badges included a pink triangle for gay men, while lesbians were lumped into an ‘asocial elements’ group with a black triangle. This shows the relevance of pink to femininity. However, in the late 60s, with the articulation of the LGBT rights movement, the significance of pink began a shift from shame to pride. The ‘Queer’ Community still struggles for acceptance because these factors are so deep-rooted.
Live and Let Live
I’m sure if you’re a boy you must be able to relate to sentences like ‘don’t cry like a girl’ or ‘boys don’t cry because crying is for the weak’ and if you’re a girl you might’ve come across sentences like ‘sit like a girl, talk softly like a girl’ a zillion times! We need to get our basics right and realise that it is every human’s right to choose what they feel is best for themselves, associate or dissociate with people, colours, art forms or ideologies. Especially babies shouldn’t be pushed towards something purposely, taking advantage of their age and their inability to form an opinion or even understand what likes and dislikes are. This cycle of unnecessary pressure and dominance also has to stop. There should be absolute freedom in order to keep diversity alive. Diversity nowadays is probably best defined in an LGBTQ rainbow flag which is symbolic of an all-inclusive society. We should learn to live and let live instead of assigning particular colours and laying expectations on toddlers to stay true to them. There should be absolute freedom of picking any colour at any age, making it your own, and possessing the liberty to change it too because let’s face it, we’re much more than the X and Y chromosomes that we limit ourselves to!
