A brief introduction to the Self 

The Self is the ideas and beliefs we hold about ourselves; what we are good at, who we are, what we like and dislike, who we want to be etc. Our self-concept is synonymous to the self. The development of self begins at infancy when the child recognizes himself or herself as a separate individual. Children can sometimes quite clearly state their likes and dislikes (Butterworth,1992). The development of self also continues into adulthood wherein one’s beliefs, preferences etc change. Hence identity formation is a lifelong task. However, according to Erik Erikson(1963), identity formation is of special relevance during adolescence. In his theory of ego development, Erikson stated that the coming together of identity marks the transition from childhood to adulthood. The goal, according to him, of this’ consolidation process was to view the self as “something that has sameness and continuity, and to act accordingly”. It is only after this consolidation can one begin to make career plans, have intimate relationships etc. This is because, without the knowledge that who one is today will be similar to who one is two years later, one cannot begin to make plans about one’s future. What is essential for such important decisions is a clear and firm idea os oneself. A clear self-concept exists when one is free of self-doubt, confusions about oneself and when one is free from external pressures and does not feel buffeted by the ideas that others have of him/her. It is only with a clear self-concept that one can direct oneself (Campbell, 1990)

What is Self-Esteem and What is it based on?

Self-esteem is the evaluation we make of ourselves. According to William James (1890), self-esteem can be defined as success divided by pretensions. This definition is relevant because of its implications. Firstly it implies that what is important is not how much one has achieved, but how a person has succeeded in relation to their ambitions (here, pretensions). Hence to an untrained observer a person may have very high self-esteem because of how much the person has achieved, whereas, in reality, the same person may view him/herself quite negatively because their success falls short of their ambitions, or is simply not relevant to them. Moreover, this definition also allows us to make an assumption about how to obtain high self-esteem; i.e by avoiding failure and achieving greater success or simply by having less ambitious goals.  Here we must ask an important question: How do we measure our worth? Is it simply by objectively looking at our success and comparing it to our ambitions? A simple answer would be no. According to Charles Cooey (1902), our assessment of our worth is based on what we believe others make of us. Our assumptions of others’ assessment of us depend on how we subjectively evaluate their qualities. That is, we assume that a more successful person will judge us more harshly than a person who hasn’t had much success. Hence what shapes our self-esteem is not how our achievements are directly assessed but the subjective assumption of how these achievements will be assessed. Self-esteem is made up of self liking ( personal fondness) and self-competence ( our evaluation of ourselves as capable). It can also be of two types; explicit and implicit. Explicit self-esteem can be understood by the concrete negative or positive evaluations we make of ourselves and Implicit self-esteem is the more implicit evaluations we make of ourselves (Greenwald and Banaji, 1995). A clear distinction between these two types of self-esteem can be found by looking at Karasawa and Kitayama (1997) study, where they found that though Japanese individuals are less likely to answer self-esteem scales in an explicit self-enhancing manner, they show a preference for letters in their names and numbers that correspond to their birthdate. 

The basis of one’s self-esteem is different for a woman as compared to a man. Josephs et al (1992) found that self-esteem is related to successfully achieving culturally mandated gender-appropriate norms. Theorists have long found consensus in the idea that men and women’s self-concept are likely to be different in very important aspects. (Stewart and Lykes, 1985). Hence though men and women do not differ in their overall self-esteem, the basis for their self-esteem may be different. Where women and men differ in how they view their self in relation to others- women having a very collectivist and connected self-schema and men having a very independent and autonomous self-schema. This difference has been explained by many psychologists. For example, Chodorow(1978) believed that such a difference is the result of the relationship between the mother and the child. That is because the mother and the son have differences, separation becomes central whereas since the mother and daughter are more alike, continuity with one another becomes central. Miller (1986) proposed that because women are more powerless in society they have to be more responsive to others. This leads to interpersonal relationships and interdependence becoming very central to a women’s self-concept. Thus because of such differences in self- concept, the basis for self-esteem also differs. This pivotal study by Josephs et al found that for men self-esteem is based on seeing oneself as unique ( which emphasizes on an individuation process ) and for women self-esteem is bases on seeing oneself as sensitive to or attuned to others.

Causes, Costs and Benefits of Self-Esteem

The main influence on one’s self-esteem is of one’s parents. This influence is partly genetic and partly based on the love and affection that one receives from one’s primary socializers. According to Rober Taibbi, it is during our childhood that we develop our Bottom line- the way you feel about something based on early experiences. For example, how you felt when your toy was taken away from you forcefully for the first time maybe how you feel every time when you are abandoned. This Bottom line helps you develop your own ‘rules of living’- how you want to live your life. For example, if the way you feel about yourself is that you are useless, you will live in a way that will allow people to take advantage of you. These are some common symptoms of low self-esteem :

• Unable to trust your own opinion
• Always overthinking
• Afraid to take challenges, being worried you wouldn’t overcome them
• Hard on yourself but lenient with others
• Frequent anxiety and emotional turmoil

According to Suzaane Lachamann (2013), sexual abuse, the media, bullying may all lead to low self-esteem. Disapproving authority figures who told you you were never good enough, Uninvolved parents who made you feel like you were unacknowledged and forgotten, authority figures in conflict who make you feel like you have contributed to their unhappiness can all lead to a negative evaluation of self and consequently low self-esteem. If your primary caregivers were otherwise occupied while you were being bullied and downplayed your experience, or they let you down when you needed their advocacy, you might have struggled with feeling undeserving of notice, unworthy of attention, and angry at being shortchanged. This too might have lead to low self-esteem. Repeated public failures, such as failing in your exams constantly may also lead to a lowered self-esteem. 

According to Nicholas Emler (2001), the following are the effects of self-esteem, both low and high:

Young people with very low self-esteem are more likely to

• show symptoms of depression; be more often unhappy
• become pregnant as teenagers (girls)
• have suicidal thoughts and make suicide attempts
• experience in their twenties longer periods of unemployment and earn less (males)
• suffer from eating disorders (if they are female)
• be victimised
• fail to respond to social influence
• have more difficulty forming and sustaining successful close relationships. 

Young people with low self-esteem are not more likely to

• commit crimes, including violent crimes
• use or abuse illegal drugs
• drink alcohol to excess or smoke
• as parents, physically or sexually abuse their own children
• fail academically

Hence though people with low self-esteem treat themselves badly they don’t treat others badly. However, high self-esteem is not the social antidote that many believe it to be. Rather a young person with high self-esteem is more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes towards an ethnic group, reject social influence and engage in physically risky pursuit.

Conclusion (How to develop Self-esteem)

It is important to understand that by inducing positive life experiences, a person’s self-esteem may not increase. This is because positive life-events enhance the health of those with high self-esteem but adversely affect the health of those with low self-esteem. One’s self-esteem can be developed by proper interventions that are specifically designed to increase self-esteem. These interventions have not been successfully used as preventative measures but have shown success when used by people with low self-esteem. Interventions only work when they target self-esteem and not the assumed symptoms of lows self-esteem. Rational Emotive Therapy ( Ellis, 1973) also seems to work as a method that improves self-esteem. RET is a cognitive behavioural therapy technique which concentrates on altering irrational beliefs. Other therapies that focus not only on changing one’s thought patterns but also one’s behaviour (CBT) have also been found to improve one’s self-esteem. Being kind to oneself, being assertive, and trying to build positive relationships ( even though low self-esteem can be both an obstacle on the path of creating  of intimate interpersonal relationships and a result of the lack of such relationships) can also help improve one’s self esteem.

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